Strange and NOT wonderful

Ummmmm, weird things have been happening to me since I turned 30. First, I put on 10 lbs, seemingly overnight. Then my body mysteriously lost it's ability to retain moisture, and yesterday just flat out freaked me out. I found myself in the candle aisle at Target, staring at the candles, and sniffing all the fall scented ones. Next thing I knew 20 minutes had gone by and I was still there!!! Who is this person?!?!?!?! What is happening to me?!?!? Shudder.