Unsolicited Advice: Episode One
Hello, and welcome to my new “column”. I was hanging out with my friend Maria from Local Girl Gang this weekend and she said to me “you should just tell people what to do”, and I had a epiphany:
YES, I really do love fixing problems and telling people what to do, even when no one asks.
So, at Maria’s encouragement, I’m starting this column.
Unsolicited Advice: The advice column that no one asked for.
The topics will sometimes be serious, sometime frivolous, but I promise to always keep it real. If you would like me to address a particular topic, you are welcome to contact me on Instagram or leave a comment on my blog, or email me, and I promise to answer your question with my very own brand of self-help advice. Follow it at your own risk.
In today’s episode, I’m talking about Celebrity Perfumes. If you’re a celebrity, want to be one or might accidentally find yourself in the limelight due to a viral video or a reality TV appearance, you need this advice.
There comes a point in every reasonably major celebrity’s life when they get approached about a perfume deal. Some of the most popular celebrity scents include Britney Spears, Rihanna, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lady Gaga, Kim Kardashian, Kat Von D, Katy Perry, and even the queen herself, Beyoncé.
Most of these perfumes are just plain awful — they are all reminiscent of some other, better perfume, created by a master perfumer. These inspired fragrances are typically excessively sweet, cloying, and sold at Walgreens and CVS (no knock on either of these places but they are not exactly known for quality perfume products). You end up with some terrible tag lines like “Put the U in Individual” or “Catch the Fever”. And besides, its not like anyone believes that these celebrities are actually wearing their garbage scents.
So please. If you find yourself on the precipice of celebrity, do not sign your name to a celebrity fragrance. Leave that to someone else.
The lesson for today is this: